I’d love to turn you on to PRIMUS

I love weird music. But how do you define weirdness? You don’t usually define it, you just know it when you hear it and Primus take weirdness to new and unusual levels. First of all, what is Primus? The answer to that is simple: Primus is a band. A trio, in fact. What kind of music do they play? That is a much more difficult question to answer. If I had to guess? Psychedelic Funk Rock with a lemon twist and a dash of Metal. They’ve had highs (Pork Soda) and lows (Antipop) and continue to stride forward, unabashedly bouncing, shredding and pounding their way through all known catastrophe and calamity. They’ve tasted popularity, been the idol of millions and yet have managed to maintain their creative soul and unique personality. This is no small feat in this age of manufactured pop and arena rock bullshit. When asked what kind of band Primus is I simply say “Primus” because that’s what they are.

They’re not a Metal band (though they’re heavier and thrashier than Metallica when called upon) and they’re not funk (but Bootsy Collins is probably green with envy at Les Claypool’s thumping bass lines.) They can play both these genres and many more, but their sound remains simply Primus. The setup is not all that unique. A guitar, some drums and a bass with vocals splashed here and there. What’s so special about that? What’s special is the players. Tim Alexander’s drumming is fierce, precise and sharp as a tack. In terms of capability behind the kit, he’s up there with drummers like Danny Carey of TooL and Dale Crover of the Melvins, though his style is nothing like either of those two. Larry Lalonde’s guitar can go from funky tweaks to metallic crunches to Zappa-esque soloing madness in the space of a second. His style takes it’s cues from all of the aforementioned (Funk, Metal, Zappa) and combines numerous playing techniques to form his left of center riffage. The center of Primus’s music, though, is, without doubt, Les Claypool’s bass. Not content to sit in the background, the sound jumps up and grabs you by the throat. It bounces, it thumps, it rumbles and it pops, once you’ve heard it you will always know it and it will always be a part of you. It is this sound that defines Primus more then anything else. Great as Lalonde and Alexander are, they will always be over shadowed by Claypool and his incredible bass work. The music that these three men create is certainly weird, but it is Les Claypool’s nasally voice and genuinely bizarre lyrics that give Primus songs their character. And they’re filled with characters. It’s as if Claypool lives on another planet and comes by from time to time to let us all know what’s going on there.

Professor Nutbutter, John The Fisherman, Tommy The Cat: All of these characters have surfaced at one time or another in Claypool’s music, each one bringing an odd tale or adventure to spice up the mix. Primus hasn’t recorded new material since 2003 and all of their members are involved in numerous side projects. Claypool is an accomplished solo artist and performs with various ensembles of his friends and allies, Lalonde just recently finished a stint with Serj Tankian’s band, The F.C.C. (Flying Cunts of Chaos) and Alexander has his Fata Morgana project, in which things take a very dark turn. Despite these busy schedules, Primus re-unites here and there to tour. These tours often take the structured music of their records into new and unexplored regions of jams, to great success. Primus doesn’t kick out the jams; it builds them up into colossi, mountains of music and oceans of sound that they then navigate like intrepid explorers. Is Primus weird? Definitely. Do they sound like any other band out there? Probably not. Does Les Claypool get carpal tunnel? Almost certainly. Should you listen to them? Yes, yes and yes.

Discography:

-Frizzle Fry-

Year: 1990

Primus’s first (Not counting the live album, Suck On This), most thrashing album. Still finding their sound on this one, but that doesn’t detract from it. Features the ripping “John The Fisherman,” an excellent stoner jam in the form of “Harold of the Rocks” and the metal tinged “Too Many Puppies.”

-Sailing The Seas of Cheese-

Year: 1991

The second, the one where they best and most clearly defined their sound that all the other albums would spring from. Considered to be their most fun album by some. Features a Tom Waits collaboration in “Tommy The Cat”, the speed slap bass of “Is It Luck?”, the anti-military anthem of “Sgt. Baker” and (my personal favorite) the smashingly barbequed riffage of “Those Damned Blue-Collar Tweakers.”

-Miscellaneous Debris-

Year: 1992

A collection of covers and the first album to feature Claypool’s six string Rainbow Bass. Reveals some of Claypool’s influences. Some of them are kind of surprising. Features twisted takes on the XTC classic “Making Plans for Nigel” and Pink Floyd’s “Have A Cigar.”

-Pork Soda-

Year: 1993

Their darkest, most alienating album. But possibly their best? Features one of their most well known songs: “My Name is Mud” with it’s distinctive bass rumblings as well as the sinking ship sounds of “Mr. Krinkle,” the sludgy funeral dirge of “Bob” and the hilarious nudity of “Nature Boy.”

-Tales from The Punchbowl-

Year: 1995

Their most Psychedelic album. This album was the last to feature Tim Alexander before his departure (he will return). Features their most well known song: “Wynonna’s Big Brown Beaver” with it’s ridiculous lyrics as well as the propellant shredder “Prof. Nutbutter’s House of Treats,” the hillbilly banjo of “De Anza Jig” and the tweaked out acid jam of “Over The Electric Grapevine.”

-Brown Album-

Year: 1997

The beginning of the Brain era. New drummer Brain joins after Alexander’s departure. The sound of the Brown Album is difficult to characterize. It sounds… well… brown and that’s not really a color I would want to associate with Primus. The band rarely, if ever, plays songs from this album live, mostly due to Alexander having returned at this point, but also just because they don’t seem to like it very much. Features what is possibly the only acoustic Primus song in “Over The Falls” and the jerky “Shake Hands With Beef.”


-Rhinoplasty-

Year: 1998

A second collection of covers. Not as good as Misc. Debris and doesn’t really have anything you terribly need. Features a pretty straight take on Metallica’s “The Thing That Should Not Be” and XTC’s “Scissor Man.”

-Antipop-

Year: 1999

Their weakest album. No doubt. The second of the Brain era. It should be noted, I think, that the weakness was not due to Brain’s joining the band, even though he helped the two weakest albums into being. Rather, it was just that these two albums took more experimental directions and for the most part those experiments were less than successful. The band never plays songs from this album live. It’s not all bad though. This is Primus’s most collaborative album. Tom Waits makes an appearance, as does Stewart Copeland, Tom Morello. Sadly, this album also features the Fred Durst produced “Lacquer Head” easily Primus’s weakest moment and worst collaboration idea. Claypool has gone on to regret this. The album doesn’t really feature any standout tracks. If I had to pick though? The Tom Waits collaboration “Coattails of a Deadman,” the Stewart Copeland produced “Dirty Drowning Man” and the epic “Eclectic Electric.”

-Animals Should Not Try to Act Like People-

Year: 2003

Just an EP, but it singled a return to greatness. Alexander returned as drummer, and it sounded as If he’d never been away. Better than the Brown Album and Antipop combined. It’s only real weakness? Only five tracks. The band hasn’t returned to the studio since this was released. Features the perplexing “The Last Superpower AKA Rapscallion” and the sorrowful “Mary The Ice Cube.”

Tom Waits: Already On Top of The Hill

Album: Real Gone
Artist: Tom Waits
Genre: Tom Waits
Year: 2004
Label: ANTI-

Tom Waits (a man who should require zero introduction) obviously doesn’t need a band anymore, but he continues to perform with one, probably more out of habit than actual necessity. I am only partially joking. Real Gone is Tom Waits most recent full-length album, released in 2004. It is the obvious continuation of Waits’s obsessions and introduces a few new ones. It’s also a rock solid work of art. Beginning with the whirly-gig weirdo funk of “Top Of The Hill,” the album lets you know the score immediately. Tom Waits’ raspy beat boxing is juxtaposed against Casey Waits’ turntables and Marc Ribot’s guitar, creating a bizarre collage of sounds for Tom to growl over.

Whoever had the idea to combine Tom Waits’ weathered vocals with something like turntable scratches is a complete genius. This isn’t the first time he’s done it, but it’s the only time he does so on this album. The marriage of the two opposing musical forces seems like it would cause the world to end, but it doesn’t, it just makes it a more interesting place to be. Lots of the tracks on this album feature Waits beat-boxing and noise making, providing his own backing for his eccentric stories and off-kilter ramblings.

Some Waits albums sound like they take place in some sort of smoky nightclub. But Real Gone takes us outside for the most part, lots of the album has the feel of being either on the street of some forgotten American town or perhaps the fields just outside of it. Other Waits albums have taken place in port towns or the middle of the desert, but Real Gone is a curious town where it always rains and the grass is greener on the other side. That’s all implied, none of it is stated. It’s one of the things that Waits is a master of: atmosphere. His stories take you to strange and fantastic places, which are nonetheless somewhat familiar, if you’ve ever gone traveling in the American wherever.

Waits’ band this time around is fantastic. I think it’s funny that John Zorn and Waits share the same standby guitarist in Marc Ribot, considering the mile wide divide between their musical styles. Ribot once stated that he has limited technical abilities because he learned how to play the guitar right handed, but I’ve never noticed anything particularly debilitated about his playing. Regardless, Ribot’s guitars can be bluesy, jazzy, or just ripping. He’s been working with Waits since 1985 and their relationship is cemented in the way their instruments complement each other. Ribot is the perfect guitarist for Waits, not too flashy, but raw and more technically proficient than a punk guitarist.

Meanwhile, the percussion. Rather than an actual drum set, Waits appears to have gone the Skeleton Key route in assembling junk percussion sets to be banged on by Brain of all people. For those who don’t know, Brain has drummed for Praxis, Primus and Guns N’ Roses. He’s a man, a myth, a pseudo-Mexican and this is some of the most interesting stuff he’s ever done. His real drum stuff is great, no question, but the stuff he’s battering here sounds like it was built in a scrap yard and that gives it a unique sound not found in the rest of his work. The other musicians include Larry Taylor, Casey Waits (Tom Waits’ son) and Les Claypool (in a very understated role) among others.

Lots of people come to Waits’ albums for the lyrics. Stories really, stories about the downtrodden, the absurd, the bizarre and the love lost. Some of it is Beefheartian ridiculousness, like the roaring boot stomper of “Hoist That Rag”, and some of it is deadly serious, like the acoustic anti-war anthem of “Day After Tomorrow, but it’s all genius. The combination of these musicians, Waits’ cantankerous delivery and the rough n’ tumble production make this one of the most fascinating and just plain fun listens Tom has ever put together.

The Shortest Review I've Ever Done? Yep...

Album: One Cello X 16: Natoma
Artist: Zoe Keating
Genre: Classical
Year: 2005
Label: Zoe Keating.

There is very little to say about Zoe Keating, but all of it is good. A former member of Rasputina, Keating is a cellist who creates entire symphonies simply using her one cello and a couple of samplers. Here’s how it works: She’ll hit a button and play one piece of the music, which is then recorded. Upon hitting another button that piece is saved, looped and played back, allowing her to continue the process and gradually build entire orchestras of cellos using just her one instrument.

This is by no means an easy thing to do. It takes a very attentive ear to know when to add and subtract each individual piece and not have the whole thing fall apart due to a single error. When done right, which she does, the effect is really quite stunning and the music is utterly beautiful. This album, One Cello X 16: Natoma is wonderfully crafted and a thoroughly rewarding listen from start to finish. Each piece is exquisite and conveys an epic sort of beauty that you just don’t find in other instruments. The cello is probably my favorite classical string instrument and with maestros like Keating directing their movements, that is unlikely to change anytime soon.

The Foetus of Excellence

Album: Damp
Artist: Foetus
Genre: Industrial/Classical/Swing
Year: 2006
Label: Ectopic Ents

J.G. Thirlwell is one of the most confounding composers in the musical world. Second generation No Waver, Industrial pioneer, Big Band bastardizer, orchestral composer and Film Score maniac, he is all of these things and more. You’ve probably heard of his most prolific and primary project Foetus, or one of its many incarnations: Foetus Interruptus, You’ve Got Foetus On Your Breath, Foetus Under Glass, Scraping Foetus Off The Wheel and, my personal favorite, The Foetus of Excellence, among others. He also records instrumental pieces under the names Steroid Maximus and Manorexia, the first of which was founded in order to make Foetus a more vocal focused project. With a name like Foetus, it would be easy to quickly pigeonhole Thirlwell’s musical output into something dark and foreboding without even hearing it.

Thirlwell may have started out as a No Wave influenced Industrial madman, but he’s grown far outside the confines of his original genre. A man of taste when it comes to music (if not names) Thirlwell began incorporating elements of Swing and Classical into his Industrial assaults, giving us warped and twisted music that would satisfy both black clad counter-culture night timers, and people who just want to do the Charleston. Actually, now I think about it, it probably didn’t satisfy anyone, it probably just pissed everyone off to hear a composer trying to bring such disparate elements of music together. But I think Industrial and Swing are surprisingly workable genres and can be fused into a thing of blacked and scorched beauty. Thirlwell’s music is indeed dark, foreboding and sometimes downright disturbing. But it’s a lot more complicated than that on his recent release, Damp.

Damp is a collection of odds and ends from the recent Foetus years and holds together extremely well as an album, rather than a compilation. Sure it’s got some stuff taken from previous releases, but most of it is pretty new and never been heard anywhere else before. It also focuses more on Thirlwell’s orchestral side than it does on the Industrial, giving us some of the first instrumental Foetus pieces since 1988’s Thaw. The album begins with the bombastically sinister swinger, “I Hate You All” which is probably the most dynamically explosive track on the album cause after this, things slow down significantly. This album shows off Thrilwell’s compositional chops in a way that more Industrial works like Thaw or Rife would fail at. One of the greatest orchestral pieces that Thrilwell has ever composed is the album’s sixteen minute final “Cold Shoulder.” It’s the perfect horror movie piece, all haunting strings and creepy atmosphere. It’s slow and minimal, but it’s also terrifying and sends shivers up your spine. If you listen to this at night, I guarantee nightmares.

This album is also home to Thirlwell’s single collaboration with Sludge Metal kings, the Melvins. The track “Mine Is No Disgrace” originally appeared on the Melvins 2000 album The Crybaby. That doesn’t mean it’s out of place here, it fits right in with the rest of Thirlwell’s dark works. The track was composed with Buzz Osborne of the Melvins, but I don’t know whether Thirlwell wrote any of the music or not. He may have just provided the lyrics. Thirlwell’s lyrics are never about happy things and “Mine Is No Disgrace” is no exception. Murder, abuse, self-loathing, misanthropy… none of these are unusual for Thirlwell. “Mine Is No Disgrace” is largely minimal in its composition, with periodic blasts of thunderous sound. The song was one of the best tracks on The Crybaby and is subsequently one of the best tracks on Damp.

Those hearing Thirlwell’s work for the first time are probably going to think “wow, his band must be killer,” which is true, except it’s not a band, it’s just him. Which is incredible, all things considered. Having to record all of the parts separately and then piece them together yourself has got to be a difficult and time-consuming task. So to hear the finished product be as fantastic as this is nothing short of stunning. The album has its weak moment, in the form of a Phylr remix of “Blessed Evening” from 2005’s Love, but that’s really it in terms of bad material. This album is incredibly strong for being just a collection and is a worthy addition to any Foetus collection. It also might not be a bad place to start if you’re new to Foetus as it introduces some of Thirlwell’s most sophisticated non-Industrial work to date.

Frogs On The Wing: The Frog Brigade Part 2

Album: Live Frogs: Set 2
Artist: The Les Claypool Frog Brigade
Genre: Experimental Rock
Year: 2001
Label: Prawn Song

Animals is something of an oddity in the Pink Floyd universe. Not very well known and comprised of three very long songs, an intro and an outro, it’s sandwiched uncomfortably between better known albums Wish You Were Here and The Wall, both of which blew every ones socks off. So when Les Claypool states at the end of “Shine On You Crazy Diamond” “We’ll be back in twenty minutes, with more Pink Floyd than any human should ever withstand” It seems unlikely that the crowd expected the Frog Brigade to launch into a rendition of Animals in it’s entirety. Set two of the Frog Brigade’s epic concert experience remains pretty damn true to the original Floyd work. Of course, being preformed by the Claypool and friends, it is subject to a little bit of variation and exciting weirdness. Skerik is a factor as is Eenor, the two musicians providing extra helpings of sound to the mix. Also, Claypool’s bass stands out a lot more than Roger Waters ever did, once again becoming the central element of the music. And then there's the voice. David Gilmour and Roger Waters were both pretty unremarkable as vocalists go; their true talents lay with their instruments and their song writing. Les Claypool isn’t a “good” singer, but his voice is far more distinct than either Gilmour or Waters. But as with most Pink Floyd and/or Les Claypool compositions, the vocals are not the most important aspect (not including The Wall, but Roger Waters really needs to stop whining,) the music is though.

As I already stated in my review of Set 1, the musicians here are all talent, no fooling around. Eeenor and Huth really shine on (you crazy diamond) this album, tackling Gilmour’s guitar solos with intensity and grace. But also of note is the interplay between Skerik and Eenor on "Pigs (Three Different Ones.)" The guitar and saxophone play off of each other and intertwine, getting progressively more and more exuberant. Eventually though, Eenor’s guitar overpowers Skerik’s sax and takes off flying. Jeff Chimenti’s keyboards on "Dogs" are the highlight of that track and he does Richard Wright proud. I’m probably provoking some great cosmological catastrophe by suggesting that The Frog Brigade’s take on Animals is better than Floyd’s, but whatever. I think Les Claypool is a much more talented and respectable musician than Waters is, and I think that having Skerik and Eenor more than makes up for not having David Gilmour. Do I think that Chimenti is a better keyboardist than Wright though? That might actually be blasphemy. Chimenti is fantastic, no question, but better? No. Animals will never be my favorite Pink Floyd album, but Claypool and friends’ tackling of it has raised it pretty high in my eyes. Purists may balk, but let me tell you, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by listening to this rendition of Pink Floyd’s most underappreciated work.

Before They Were Fancy: The Frog Brigade Part 1

Album: Live Frogs: Set 1
Artist: The Les Claypool Frog Brigade
Genre: Experimental Rock
Year: 2001
Label: Prawn Song

Les Claypool’s solo albums have a notable hit and miss quality to them. In the studio, His Sausage and Holy Mackerel projects both fell under the miss label, though not for lack of trying. Meanwhile, his Oysterhead project with Trey Anastasio (Phish) and Stewart Copeland (The Police) was in the hit category. In similar manner, live albums are usually hit or miss. So it’s impressive to find that this album, being both one of Claypool’s solo efforts and a live album, is a hit. The Frog Brigade went through several incarnations before evolving into the Fancy Band, but this album captures them in one of their earlier forms. Six men strong, the Frog Brigade here is comprised of Jay Lane (drums, also of Sausage,) Todd Huth (guitar, also of Sausage,) Eenor (guitar,) Jeff Chimenti (keyboards, also of Ratdog,) Skerik (saxophone, also of Critters Buggin’) and, of course, Les Claypool (bass.) The Frog Brigade came together after an energy-less and idea-less Primus went on hiatus in the early 2000’s, each member moving to perform solo efforts. Claypool managed to create a project that stood on par with his best work with Primus, while the other members formed No Forcefield, which no one ever heard of till just right now. The sound of the Frog Brigade is similar to Primus, but with more instruments and more grand compositions leading to an overall bigger sound. The addition of keyboards and saxophone gives the music a more adventurous feel then the simple guitar/bass/drums set up.

What Claypool had was the good fortune to ally himself with top-notch musicians who were able to take a collection of unremarkable Holy Mackerel and Sausage tunes and two difficult covers and warp them into a conflagration of Jam Band goodness. Yes, yes. I know. I just used the J word. Well tough, cause that’s pretty much what the Frog Brigade is, a Jam Band. Luckily for everyone involved, there are no stoned, masturbatory solos into infinity and beyond on this record. There are solos to be sure, but they’re all within acceptable time frames, no one hundred and thirty-three minute snooze fests to bring the energy down. At seven tracks in length, the album is roughly sixty-six minutes long, because of the jams. The opening track, a cover of King Crimson’s “Thela Hun Ginjeet” is fourteen minutes long and is used as an opportunity to showcase each and every member of the band’s soloing skills. Chementi’s solo is particularly blistering. As with all Claypool music, the bass is at the center of the compositions, but here extra time is given over to the other members of the band. This is something Claypool is particularly good at, that is, sharing the limelight with the other members of his band and not stealing all the focus. Such talent is evidenced on track two “Riddles Are Abound Tonight” where Skerik’s saxophone takes center stage for two minutes of skronking mayhem. Another example is “Running The Gauntlet” during which Claypool takes time to introduce each member of the band, giving them time to solo. Everyone gets a solo except for Lane, which struck me as odd. As the drummer in this band, Lane holds everyone together and prevents them from losing their place in the grand scheme of things. It’s a common job for the drummer, but not one to be shirked or neglected.

One of the more interesting aspects of this album is that this was recorded before the Frog Brigade had developed original material of it’s own; all the tracks are either covers or from Claypool’s solo albums. The two covers “Thela Hun Ginjeet” and “Shine On You Crazy Diamond” are impressive because of the audacity with which they are executed. But, in my opinion, the songs taken from the Sausage and Holy Mackerel albums are more impressive, because it shows the Frog Brigade taking some fairly unremarkable Claypool compositions and making them forces to be reckoned with. The best example of this is probably “Hendershot” from the Holy Mackerel album, which on record was dry and uninteresting. But here, on this live record, the song is played with ferocious energy and features Skerik on a roaring Surf Saxophone solo. Of all the players here, Skerik is likely my favorite. Being from Seattle, I feel particular pride that my city produced such a fantastic musician. As I said before, live albums can be hit or miss and to find one that successfully captures a band at their live best is a rare and beautiful thing. Such is the beauty of this album.

To be continued...

Hollywood Undead = FAIL

Album: Swan Songs
Artist: Hollywood Undead
Genre: Shock Rap/Nu-Metal/Screamo.
Year: 2008
Label: A&M/Octone Records

Hollywood Undead is everything I hate about bad music all rolled into one giant ball of ick. I didn’t think this was possible, but they’ve actually created something more detestable than Bring Me The Horizon’s Suicide Season. That album, which I believe I referred to as the worst album in the world, was at least confined to one bad genre. Hollywood Undead, on the other hand, wants all to be the worlds first Horrorcore/Emo/Screamo/Crunk/Shock Rap/Nu-Metal/Wonderbread Mix. Any one of these genres is bad and any one of the bands that practice these genres are bad, but together? These genres combined create one of the most gallingly awful sounds I have ever heard. I swear I’m getting an ulcer just listening to them.

I think we established with my Slipknot review that the age of Rage Rock and Nu-Metal is dead. The corpse, however, seems to be making a strong effort to crawl its way out of the coffin. Slipknot’s most recent… no, I can’t call it an album… release was its most vigorous attempt yet, but the weight of the stones we piled onto the grave have been able to keep it down thus far. The problem is that this thing just won’t fucking die. We shot it, stabbed it, drowned it, set it on fire and threw it down a hole and still it clings to life like a leech clinging to your back. Still, its loathsome offspring try to dig it up and restore it to life. And still, way down in the hole, it gives birth to new malformed creatures that should have never been given life at all. Hollywood Undead is one of those unfortunate creatures and I feel a mixture of pity and revulsion as they enter the world. Mostly revulsion though.

Swan Songs is the six-piece’s debut recording and it sounds like Limp Bizkt combined with Eminem, with extra helpings of Heavy Heavy Low Low and Linkin Park. If you think that sounds bad, rest assured, it does. First of all, the Emcee’s, all six of them, have about as much lyrical skill as a dead puppy, and boy do they love to yap. The raps consist of a more or less constant stream of Faggot, Bitch, Bitch Faggot and Motherfucker with a few mentions of Punk-Ass here and there. When not spouting obscenities, the lyrics are an amalgam of the absolute worst Gangsta Rap and Emo clichés on the face of the planet. They’re homophobic, misogynistic and, to top it all off, posers.

Hollywood Undead say they ain’t nothin’ to fuck wit’ but they certainly are fuckwits and I love fucking with them. Furthermore, all of the voices on this album are more or less indistinguishable from one another. They’re all snotty, whiny, gravely or screaming and about as appealing as having a cockroach crawl down your throat. The music is shit too, all Crunk beats mixed with Metal guitars, a combination that comes from a special place in music, the one that makes me sick all over the floor. There really isn’t anything positive to say about Hollywood Undead. The music is bad, and, worse, it’s completely unoriginal. Anyone who survived the Nu-Metal era has heard this before. It was bad then, and remains bad now. If I thought they would listen, I would advise Hollywood Undead to make this an actual album of Swan Songs and call it a day, because if the girls you describe are as skanky as that, then you’re probably gonna get syphilis and die. Sorry.