Album: Suicide Season
Artist: Bring Me the Horizon
Genre: Fauxcore
Year: 2008
Label: Visible Noise
The cover of Bring Me the Horizon’s latest release, Suicide Season, has a photo of a girl whose guts are spilling out of her stomach. The wound looks pretty bad, and I see some serious intestine in that mess. It’s a genuinely disgusting image to look at, especially when coupled with the girl’s blank expression. The feelings of revulsion I felt upon seeing the cover accompanied me into the album and refuse to abate. Bring Me the Horizon are one of the numerous Fauxcore bands that populate our zeitgeist and they are making a serious attempt for worst album of all time. I have never before heard such completely unlistenable music in my life. Just the thought of it is painful. My animosity towards Bring Me The Horizon goes beyond mere dislike and into full fledged hate. Make no mistake, I’m going to destroy this band and nothing and no one can stop me.
Where do I start? The obvious place I suppose: The vocals. Bring Me the Horizon is fronted by Oliver Skyes, a misogynistic bastard that no one in their right minds should let near a microphone. Hearing him scream is physically painful not just to the ears but to the throat as well as you can imagine his vocal chords tearing apart under the strain. He’s trying nothing short of decapitating his audience and it feels like it’s working. I just checked my ears, half expecting them to be dripping blood. The music doesn’t make the situation any better as it falls under typical Fauxcore styling of hard edged guitars over pummeling blast beats. It sounds like a bunch of skater kids hopped up on PCP, taking chainsaws to the heads of innocent bystanders. Furthermore, the songs are unintelligible from one another and in turn are unintelligible from other Fauxcore bands. It’s not Metal, it’s not Hardcore, it’s more like rusted blades carving up your eardrums. This music is garbage, total trash. If you thought Slipknot was bad then you have never experienced Bring Me The Horizon. Why on earth would a human being willingly expose themselves to this shit? I didn’t think it was possible but this band has made me look back fondly on my hour with Dragonforce. Sure they’re the Kenny G’s of Metal but at least they’re funny and fun to make fun of. Listening to and writing about Bring Me the Horizon, all I feel is sickness.
There was a time where it meant something to be Hardcore. In the days of Black Flag and Minor Threat when you made fast, dirty music on your own record label because everyone else hated you, you could hold your head high and say that you were Hardcore with pride. These days, Fauxcore kids around the world have stolen and bastardized the word for their own sick purposes. It means nothing to be Hardcore anymore if that means you associate yourself with such bands as Bring Me the Horizon. If you see copies of this album, break them. If you see this band live, throw food at them.
4 comments:
At first I thought the woman was holding a lobster, which I thought was pretty cool, but since it's her own guts, it's disgusting and unoriginal.
One thing about it though, is that it really caught my eye. I like album covers that do that.
If it had only been a Lobster...
after reading your review, I really had to think about why I enjoy this music (yes, I call it music). When I first heard it I was also repulsed, disgusted, the whole nine. While it doesn't flow and have pretty melodies, I believe you fail to appreciate that there are genres of music that don't appeal to you that are still music. I respect your opinion but I'm offended that you don't realize the amount of skill it takes to play that fast with that much clarity. Also, it's not always about what is pleasing to your ears, there's also the feeling some people get in their whole bodies when this kind of music courses through them. There isn't a way to describe it that would be understandable by someone who doesn't get it already. What do you think of bands like All That Remains? They have plenty of "prettiness" in their music and it flows. Also, is Bring Me the Horizon the only Metalcore (or "Fauxcore" as you put it) band that you've heard? Because of course a band's songs are going to sound similar! It's a bit shallow to have a sample size of one band and use that to extrapolate an entire genre. It just shows ignorance. How sad.
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